July 22, 2011 at 3:00 PM
"I know what feels good, and that is about it. That is enough..."
Reading some stuff on Facebook written by a self-designated "Healer," I had what seemed like some small realizations, epiphanillas...
I am not a Healer, and I am not not a Healer...I do not want to heal others, and I do not not want to heal others...I want to live my life, move through in the greatest joy possible, and if, in doing so, someone is taught, or healed, or mentored, or coached, or enlightened, or made greater by dint of their having crossed paths with me, I do not want to care, and I do not not want to care...I do not want people to wait in line all damn day to hug me, or come see me speak, and if in my hugging or speaking, they find value, I do not want to care, and I do not not want to care.
I do not want to be helpful just because I have a desire and need to be helpful. If I am helpful by living my life in joy, that seems good. I have no idea whatsoever what healing is, or who needs what kind of healing, or if there is indeed anything to be healed, or if all is just part of great destiny patterns none of us understands in our current iteration. What we observe in another could be one sentence in a great epic novel that is the story of their energy soul moving across thousands of years. How would I presume to know what it means, or what he or she needs, or whether or not I can even do anything to impact anything whatsoever? We could be observing and responding to a simple "Call me Ishmael", having no idea that the person’s destiny might include a whole cadre of Ahabs or Tashtegos or Queequegs or Great White Whales. (“And how should I presume? And how should I begin?”
I am just not enlightened enough to even have a deeper level opinion about any of this. I just have no idea. I know what feels good, and that is about it. That is enough. As long as I do not assign myself the job of saving souls and healing people who may very well be in no need of what I might perceive to be healing, I might paradoxically have a chance to help somebody who does need something, though it might be outside my ability to understand or even perceive.
And no doubt I will continue to do some teaching, healing, helping, mentoring, coaching behaviors, but I will admire my effort most if I am conscious that I have no idea what I am doing while I am doing them...