July 19, 2013 at 5:03 PM

SFPD Rescues Abused Alligator or Some People are Stupider Than Their Pets

"If you're moronic enough to think owning a pet alligator in Santa Fe is a perfectly good idea, you're probably too stupid to take care of it properly."

By Todd Eric Lovato

Fox in a Forest

Todd Eric Lovato is a Santa Fe native, the managing editor of SantaFe.com and an overfed, long-haired leaping gnome.

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I received a sad email from the Santa Fe Police Department and I want to share the details before I call it a day.

It might be an unfair generalization, but I'm pretty sure that if you're moronic enough to think owning a pet alligator in Santa Fe is a perfectly good idea, you're probably too stupid to take care of it properly. Or, as Lisa C the Motherfunker just said to me: "Let them be alligators in alligator world."

Not to mention that owning exotic pets like this little guy or gal is illegal in Santa Fe County, according to the notice. If found, the owner faces animal cruelty and illegal and no permit charges. It made me annoyed, so I Googled "animal quotes" until I found something that express my chagrin.

"If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals." – Tolstoy

(Note the officer's lower-facial expression in the photo below. It's pretty entertaining.)

Here's the information:

Members of our Animal Services department rescued an alligator from a resident’s back yard on the 2700 block of Galisteo just before 4 p.m. Friday, July 19, 2013.

The two foot long animal was running at large, and was cornered by the resident’s dog when officers arrived. Someone had already taped the alligator’s mouth shut.

It is believed to have been running around for some time because the tape was embedded in its snout. The alligator (unknown sex and age) is being held at the County’s animal shelter and was placed in an aquarium of warm water and fed immediately.

It is comfortable and will stay there for a short time in an effort to find its owner.

Anyone with information is asked to call SFPD at 505-428-3710.

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